Tag Archives: Tax

If you don’t pay tax then –

If you don’t like paying taxes . . .

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– Don’t drive on paved streets or highways.

– Don’t fly in an airplane that uses air-traffic controllers.

– Don’t use the court system.

– Don’t call the police when you get robbed.

– Don’t use the Post Office, send all your letters via UPS.

– Don’t ask for a agricultural subsidy.

– Don’t ask for a taxpayer subsidy to do business in a city or state.

– Don’t send your children to public schools.

– Don’t attend a state university.

– Don’t look for a government.

– Don’t run for political office where your salary is paid for by the taxpayers.

– Don’t accept government research findings that subsidize research for your industry.

– Don’t be an airline and expect the government to bail you out.

– Don’t be a car company and expect the government to bail you out.

– Don’t be a steel company and expect the government to bail you out.

– Don’t be a company that pollutes and expect the taxpayer to bail you out.

– Don’t call the fire department.

– Don’t expect federal assistance if a natural disaster destroys your home or business.

– Don’t expect the military to defend your country.

– Don’t visit national parks or hike in national forests.

– Don’t drink, bath or otherwise use the water from municipal water systems.

– Don’t look at or relay a weather report.

– Don’t expect a unit of measure like a Litre of petrol to be a full Litre.

– Don’t expect an elevator to work correctly or not fall.

– Don’t expect a red light to work.

– Don’t expect research into medical problems such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, aging, prostrate, menopause, etc.

– Don’t use the public library.

– Don’t apply for government grants.

– Don’t use your state’s convention centers.

– Don’t go to a state, city or municipal-run airport.

– Don’t ask for rural electrification.

– Don’t drive a car that benefits from government safety regulations.

– Don’t use electricity generated by some government-owned and maintained dam or facility.

– Don’t use currency printed by the RBI.

– Don’t go to a beach kept clean by the state.

– Don’t use public transportation.

– Don’t visit public museums.

– Don’t go hunting, fishing, or camping on government property.

– Don’t cross a bridge.

– Don’t use public restrooms.

– Don’t expect your tap water to be clean and germ free.

– Don’t expect there to be much wildlife left other than rats.

– Don’t eat any food transported on roads.

– Don’t expect any workplace safety standards, labor laws, or minimum wage.

– Don’t expect highway signs.

– Don’t expect laws against murder, theft, etc. (the govt. DEFINES crime).

– Don’t expect convicted criminals to be in prison and off your street.

– Don’t expect the state or county to investigate and/or remove children from neglectful or abusive homes.

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Tax Structure in India…. Funny But True…

 Tax Structure in India…. Funny But True…
 
Question 1. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes  — Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No — Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX !!!

 

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!
Tax Structure in India……. Funny But True