Tag Archives: lol

Saturday Mornings! #lol

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Saturday morning!

I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into the garage and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

Disappointed I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and sneaked back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf in that terrible weather?’

I still don’t know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped playing golf.

Secret of a Married life

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Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”

I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and
Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”

He asked, “Can you explain?”

I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each others decisions.”

Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”

I said,” Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator , monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”

He asked, “Then what is your role?”

I said,” My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing,

My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these”…………!!!!!!

Why do students fail in exams…?

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It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365′ days.

Typical academic year for a student

1.  Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2.  Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to
study. Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly &
swallowing)- means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on your B’day??????
Balance = 0 “How can a student pass?????”