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10 Great Ways to Surprise Your Spouse

surpriseAre things getting predictable between the two of you after all those years together? Do you both feel like you’ve hit a dry-spell in your marriage?

It sounds like it’s time to spice things up. Don’t wince! It’s not going to cost you too much, and somehow I think you’re going to come out ahead with your better half. After all, if they’re happy doesn’t that mean you will be as well?

Here are a few suggestions to get things fun again.

  1. The Love Note – Stuff the note in their wallet or purse or maybe tuck it under a windshield wiper or their car’s visor. If they work at home you could even leave the note at their usual work area, whether it is a desk or in the kitchen. You don’t need to be a poet, a simple ‘I love you’ works. Corniness is its own sweetness. Sticky notes can add a bit of fun to the event.
  2. The Computer – Change their desktop wallpaper to a cute photo of you two. It could be your engagement photo or a wedding photo. Or perhaps it could be the photo of that certain vacation spot that took your breath away. Anything that says, “I’m thinking about us.”
  3. Music, Music, Music! – Burn a CD with tunes from your dating days maybe even starting off with your favorite song, or the song you two danced at your wedding reception. Here you might even put one song that is particularly yours because it will make them think of you when you’re not around.
  4. Ah, The Moon! – Find out when is the next full moon and celebrate together with champagne and maybe some cheese and home-baked bread. If you want to be really be romantic how about setting up a table outside in full view of the moon with some candles. You don’t even have to light the candles. Got a telescope?
  5. Their Favorite Thing-Not Yours! – They just love basketball, but you can’t stand it, or their favorite movie is the “Sound of Music”, while you would rather watch “Transformers”? Go out and get those tickets, one for them and one for you.
  6. Breakfast in Bed? – That’s way too predictable. How about dinner in bed (and who cares about the crumbs). So you’re not a cook. Have fun with a TV dinner. Remember, it’s the thought, right?
  7. Introvert or extrovert? – If your spouse is has an introverted personality, then time alone is a great surprise. Take the kids out of the house for a couple of hours so they can have some peace and quiet. If they’re a extrovert who loves to have people around, invite a bunch of friends over for a night of fun. Let them be the life of the party.
  8. Let Them Know You Were Listening – What have they complained about lately? Is their pillow getting flat? Does the garage need some cleaning? It’s always a great surprise to come home and find out that your spouse not only heard what you said, but did something about it.
  9. The Big Split – Go shopping with them at a bookstore or music store together. Now split up. Buy something you know they’ll love. Then wrap it and surprise them.
  10. Give them a Weekend Getaway– Provide your spouse with the opportunity to spend a weekend with their best friend, sibling, or the old college dorm mate. Nothing shows you care more than saying, ‘I want you to have fun.’

The idea is to always keep them guessing. The fun is the surprise. Still water certainly runs deep but it’s just still. Stir it up. Maybe doing these things might provoke your creative juices, or something unique about your spouse will require an adjustment to the ideas above. Are they an intellectual, enjoying a thought-provoking book? Take the note suggestion, and The Big Split and go find that book they told you about and put the note in it before giving it to them. The surprise should always communicate your love and appreciation for them.

Originally from: Todating sites Blog
posted on authors request.

Continue reading 10 Great Ways to Surprise Your Spouse

Life as Mathematics

I just like to relate things and I was thinking in the morning when I was en route to work in a 3 wheeled black and yellow automobile. It flashed to me that there was a lot of similarity between how life become s more complex the deeper we get into it, just like mathematics.

When we go to school as kids. Every thing is so simple. Nothing to do, just eat sleep and play, even at school. As simple as counting one.. two…  … ten.

Then we move up some classes, a lot more is added into life, exams, friends, siblings and other things to care for. Some stay and sum are left behind just like in addition and subtraction.

Moving further up the age and getting deeper into the complexities of life we have to chose from multiple options augment our skill set, zero down on the specifics and understand all. These were the multiplications and divisions of life. Along with it went several things in parallel just like the simultaneous equation of polynomial degrees, which at times were of the indeterminable type.

From here on the complexity increases exponentially as we are expected to survive in this harsh world without any support, on our own. We differentiate between options, integrate various situations to analyze what to do and what not to do and along come a hell lot of transformations comparable to Fourier and Z transformations.

Ultimately it all ends while we have had kept trying to meet cent percent satisfaction analogous to an asymptote which meets the axes at infinity.

image: source

I didn’t want to but I did

image Its been said and I have seen a lot that the life has its own ways of teaching you something. And for me it has happened a lot. I have always made up my mind while thinking not to do certain things or go a certain way but Life made me land at places and or situation where I had thought in my mind I wont be or wont be doing such things. And believe me that changed a lot in me and made me present me. I now take life as it comes.

It all started when I was in school. As a kid I wanted to be the pilot till class ten and not a mainstream engineering grad of the bulk of graduates. Then I just didn’t understand when I started to aspire to become an engineer. Every Tom and Dick I met that time was doing engineering from a local college and I had thought that I would at least not go to that particular college and I landed in that college for four wonderful years of my life.

That time when I had graduated the crowd was attracted to the BPO but I was to be a computer engineer and I had thought that I would never be working in a BPO and the first job of my life was as ISP tech support guy in a top BPO.

Then again I had thought that I am an engineer and that is enough, why do MBA, but yet again Life made me do MBA.

I had always feared that I would not be able to live in Mumbai that too in a place like Andheri, I was ok upto Vashi. and here I am living in Andheri, working as a finance executive (which again I had thought that I would not be doing) in one of the top 10 BPOs.

And the journey goes on…

600fd200e03f523902e498c6ae2de530[1] I am almost done with my short two months vacation at home which I spent happily with old friends from nursery and some gambling 🙂 [read office assignment]. This short vacation was after the 2 years long vacation at SCIT. SCIT was one of the best phase of my life which made me realize my strengths and weaknesses. I met a lot of people and had a lot of fun and made some awesome friends for life. Thanks to Harkat Ul Funky.

I could never had made it without the support from you all, I am grateful to all whom I met anywhere and everywhere. Starting tomorrow I start a new spell of life with FirstSource Solutions which I am sure would get me more awesome friends and more experience with one helluva life.

Moving ahead one step at a time taking life along as it comes…..

Thanks a lot to all of you. Love ya all 🙂

The 2 most beautiful years of my life

June 3, 2008 was the day when it all started. Fate had decided for me to be a management guy. Started of as a MS aspirant, took German as a language and dont know when I landed up in this MBA stream.

I made some weird choices not according to me but people. Still Im loving it. A geek at heart I knew that the normal marketing and finance wont be my cup of tea and at the same time I got to know this unheard of college called SCIT which claims to a premier IT B school. The course was all that I had learned in the past with one or two unknown courses like HR, marketing, accounting etc. I made my choice and decided to choose it over all others. Left a couple of colleges better than this Premier B school and landed here in Pune for the first time in my life.


I always had thought about living a life of obscurity in the campus playing my games and doing what I wanted. Attending classes was never on my agenda. All was going well but somewhere it went wrong. I just dont get it when it happened. I was noticed by most but how that is still unclear to me.

The advantage of being here in Pune was the exposure to the industry, the people and the environment. Here I realized that I can do any thing but I also realized that I should not do everything. I got to attend so many conferences, Barcamps, Blogcamps, Ideacamps, club meetings and met some cool people like Rohit Srivastava, Navin Kabra, Anant Srivastav, Amit to name a few. Also got the opportunity to be the organizer for a couple of Barcamps and the experience was too good.

I always fell short of attendance due to these but it was worth it. Apart from all this I tried my hands at every committee in college and finally landed up with the entrepreneurship cell and I still am there with iT ELF. All this exposure and experience had given me the spark to be an entrepreneur some day.

Apart from all this, I made so many, ya so many friends. Some of them would the ones for the life. Its because of these cool people that I am able to write this particular piece.

Its not the end but the beginning of my MBA. BTW I also got a good job [the very intent of doing MBA was fulfilled and the day I got the job since then I attended no lectures and that was 3 months without classes 😛

I am thankful to my parents, friends and all my readers.

Without a perfect Mate


Neither any sin nor any holy deed ,
can Unchain  me from my deed
To hear your voice,
to feel your pain,
I never would have thought,
I’d miss old times, this much again.
From the moment we parted,
I began wandering the uncharted,
To have truly lost.
Passion burning deep in my heart
wishing we were never apart,
Coming together hand in hand
melted and pressed oas grains of sand,
shaping a mos beautiful pane of glass;
etchings abound and trimmed with brass,
A beautiful disply wanting all to see,
Remains hidden and sheltered only for me.
I stole a piece of heaven and
must now pay the cost.
The words seems so void
that makes me treeibly annoyed,
No matter what i say,
no matter what i do,
I still think of you.
The hardesh thing is not to recall,
To sit and do nothing at all.
To agonize in solitude ,
over my terrible fate,
to walk into the future
without my perfect mate…

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Why it feels so unreal

There are several things in life that one wants. Those things when acquired give a sense of happiness and contempt to some while there is a bunch of people who have another feeling and that is the feeling of disbelief. It just doesnt feel like it really happened and it takes quite long for the feeling to sink in or may be it never does and they just move on.

 There are some for whome the big really has to be BIG. Its very difficult for them to understand the tiny viny nuances of the life. They just do what they feel is right at that very moment. They hear all, listen to everyones point of view but ultimately end up doing what they had decided the very first time. Such people most of the times make very calculated choices but at times they get carried away and do what they feel like. Nothing is real for them and they just keep going on and on what ever happen. They just dont stop whether they lose a job, a friend or some very important part of their life. They are ever ready to start a fresh and always have a plan of some sorts. They kind of live in a simulation themselves and of which they have already visualized ever move.

I know of some one who always had his life this way. He was a bright student and admired by most of the fellows. A little shy but had group of good people around him. No one could really tell what he really wanted and it seemed like he just went with the flow of life or the life just flowed according to his will.

All was fine and then one day he lost his mother in a very complex inexplicable and unfortunate scenario. The world came to an end for him but it was surprising to see how he took care of all around him as if he had already prepared himself for the days to come and it only took him a couple of days to get over it. At least it seemed so because we will never come to know what was going on inside of him at that time. He managed all prety well and moved on in his life taking all who mattered with him.

This was not the end of the troubles and after three years that same person was diagnosed with carcinoma. This time again for us it was kind of a severe blow and the way he took it was truly admirable. He walked out of the treatmeant fair and square as if nothing has happened.

Life moved on and that person is now one of them who matter to most and seem to have everything in control. He did what he wanted and the way he wanted and I am damn sure that he has got what all he wanted and moved on.

I would never be able to disclose who this person is as that would render this piece of writing worthless. There would be some who by now have known who I am talking about but would request them to maintain the anonimity.

90/10 Principle : By Steven Covey

90/10 Principle : By Steven Covey

Have you read this before?

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let us use an example:
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home,When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is “D”.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is
what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok honey,
you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you
come back down in time to look through the window and see your child
getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not
have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the
90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You
do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day.

A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall Off) Do you curse? Does
your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try to bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your
schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight
attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time
to study, get to know the other passenger. Why are stressed out? It will just make Things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!

Right Balance of Life


At times I feel so confused.. thinking what do I want in life?, or rather what do I want from life?. Is it physical or mental satisfaction merely or something beyond this?.

 Sipping my cup of tea, my brain gets millions of thoughts. We are born , we grow up , marry have children and we grow old then we die. This is a normal process of life, rather a stark truth of life. But what is life, I m perplexed with the question most of the time, one of the most quizzical term since my childhood. Being a child I had always read books and searched things about life. But now at a age when I have experienced 25 years on this beautiful mother earth, I can atleast try to get a better view of life, better understanding and maybe better jotting of it in words. Life is just a 4 letter word, but comprises the whole universe in it.

We are born and we start running after soo many things ,be it anything. The craving for each materialistic thing increases. One need is satisfied and the other pops up. Why do we run after all this if we have to die?.I often question myself about it? If at the end , I want eternal peace why do I feel I need to work and I need to do something good for my family?. At times I feel I shall leave everthything and get into spirituality , but then the next thought says what about my responsibilities??, then the next pop up in brain is?, M I really responsible for sumthing?.

Everything will be managed , me there or me there not. Life still moves on?. So does my existence really matters?. Then I think , I am educated now , so would work for some 20 years and then devote myself to sumthing which is beyond all this. Maybe this is balance in life. As a child grows old, he is prepared to go to school, same way when we start getting old, we have to prepare ourself to go to Him. Then a thought cropped up in my mind, what if from our body the soul goes away?. Then the body becomes dead, as per science. Right now I can type whatever I want, as per my will, but if from my body this soul goes away, I cant even blink an eye. Amazing , if you actually think about it. Without soul the body is a dead body. Soul, again a 4 letter word,but what is it?, that makes all the body part active?. All the things function in our body? And without it , we are nothing. Soul which I have heard from people is a part of Him and if we are lucky, it gets into him. Imagine we are born and then we die , but the soul remains the same.

 No one can harm it touch it, or hurt it, it does nt bleed. It’s like soul changes bodies, be it in any shape and in any form. Soul, the biggest human miracle is right inside us and we keep searching for things that can tell us God exist or does not?. How ironical human is! Alas.. I some how feel connected to him. I like that feeling very much. I enjoy it and I enjoy making people happy around me.

I like freedom and have now understood that do what your heart says and don’t go with what people say. At the end if u do something wrong , u atleast know ur mistake are yours and u haad not been a pawn in a game played by people around you. Life your life the way you want. Have courage to say No. Have courage to do what makes you feel happy, as at the end it’s about the soul, which dances when we do something which connects us to Him. Writing for eg. Is something I cherish and feels like writing more and more… anything and everything, but have realized with time that most of my writings makes me feel more closer to Him. As I might start with anything ends with spiritual discussion. So now m trying to make a balance in my life.

Not run after things.Do what I Like. Atleast start doing what I like. Gives me immense pleasure. But when I get back to the same people who talk about only materialistic things, I again tend to think, am I lagging behind?, is money everything?.

Then I feel No. Maybe the people who run after all this, all this means, success, fame , money, etc etc. they might feel satisfied that yes that they got all this, but at the end, they realize, how much fake all of this is. We life 2 lives internal and external. Both crave and both wanna be fed with different things. How to stike a right balance is a process called Life. Life is a process. There are 4 things that gives us pain In life Jealousy ,desires, death & addiction. If a man is not Aaffected by bad , affected by good , M sure he rules his senses. This kind of person surely has internal inclination towards the Most powerful Soul, Him.

Soo much to explore, maybe next time .. can keep on writing and writing on this… All things apart, you might gain anything from life, emotional stability and intellectual openness will only lead you to the right balance of Life.

You are the master of your own life…


A 3 year old child loves to run in the house freely, without any boundations. The mother puts a new Kashmiri carpet in the floor and now the child is told not to run inside the drawing room. Now the child cant run freely , he feels restricted and in few days gets used to this border line created by his mother.

Now even for him, decency is not to spoil the new carpet , even if he has to put hold on his steps. Out of dear and out of force.

All of us are a victim of the same in soo many ways ,this is just a mere example. Since we were born and opened our tiny eyes, we have been accustomed to soo many restrictions like these, with fear and force not with natural instinct.

We are told wht is wrong and what is right. We are not given a chance to decide, as we are small, and as time passes by, we get soo used to all these restrictions, that we give the sam e to our children. Why not we think of giving them freedom of choice and expression. Freedom of being decent in his own way.


Society is hypocrite, those who behave decent are decent?. Hoho! Dats how it works in this world. Those who open there mouth against whts going on are indecent.! What an irony. And we say we live in a place of democracy, where we have the  freedom of speech and expression.

An political leader  who works on women empowerment in front of the people in real beats his wife at home?. Decent in public and indecent at home. But NO we dnt call him indecent as today deceny is all about how you behave among people. Your real face .. never comes up, which is rather far more ugly…

What is good and what is bad? Who has decided it? God? No, it’s us , humans , it’s the society which has decided all this.

Which God says , worship me daily?? Or u go to hell?. Which God says , you drink and fag, you go to hell??. Who has heard him say this? No one.. God never says THIS .. we say all this.. categorizing good and categorizing bad..  as for us .. it would be betterment for the society.  

I have seen soo many of my friends who are married, they are restricted to smoke and drink @ home, from there stubborn wife’s , so they smoke and drink@ outside, like a thief. And before going home use all kinds of chlomints and different things, to get rid form the smell.  Fear, a factor, which has it’s shadow on all of us , in some of the other way.

Ffear is the crux of religion. Decent society , we wanna make one. But just from the outer side , what about inside?. To make this society decent, we hold ourself soo many times?, we get soo accustomed of living with that fear, that we cant even decide freely.

How many times do we hear our feelings? . Yeah I know this term looks familiar, instead very familiar. Much talked about these days.

Feelings are of 2 types, natural and fabricated…  Natural is when we react naturally in a free manner . Fabricated is when we have undergone the same situation and in our subconscious mind we remember what had happned last time. SO this time we behave in a better way. This is a fabricated feeling . Most of us can’t judge between which is natural and which is fabricated.

You see a child at a mall ,instantly feel like hugging him, as he is too adorable ,  you really  liked that little fellow , you want to hug him, but you resist, reason last time u pulled a cheek of a little kid , the mother had reprimand  you. So this time you resist it , with all it takes. Now one is the natural feeling which you put a fullstop on as people dnt call it decent. You cant hug your male friends in front of there spouse, as people call it indecent. Before a female gets married , you can be friends , real good friends , but once she is into the marriage trap , you cant expect anything, not even friendship , as for the society it would not be decent. You SOo many restrictions by the society, and society made by us , irony. At times I wonder do we live for ourself or for the society ??.

Listen to your inner feelings , dnt ignore them. They are pure and innocent as a new born. They don’t urge you for doing worst things, but for some of the best moments of life, which you would cherish when that person is far, or would go away, or dies.

Nothing is wrong or nothing is right, our karma are what we decide to chose and we get results accordingly.  Don’t restrict as restrictions in relations would not lead to a more bonded family,or more bonded relation. It would rather fill with a feeling of unexpression. Don’t force to change the person you love and don’t change yourself too for someone. Rather let the person realize it with time. Use emotions and cuddles to change things for the betterment of 2 people. Force might effect in short term, but in longer term it’  would be more like as if someone has imposed sumthing on you, and you just have to follow it , as you have no choice. And like the little child you get accustomed to not going to the drawing room as it is not decent.  

Maybe next time you feel like hugging someone , be it a person , be it a pet , be it anyone. Go ahead.  Hugs are one of the most purest form of expression of love, when done with a n honest heart. Most of us miss Hugs  and we don’t even know it.

It’s us who need to decide for ourselves what is good and what is bad, without the fear of what people would say and think. As it is your life and your conscious decisions.

Love life and enjoy the small moments you get, as these are the moments which would help you know urself better  and will help you ease off from the heavy restrictions given by the society.

I would just end by saying “ We are the master of our own life’s”, we must say this to ourself in times when we need to change the direction of our sail. People will always talk , as it’s how it works in this materialistic world, but do what your want, what u feel is right for you. Maybe that decision at times turns to be  wrong for future , but you would atleast be happy that whatever , u atleast head your inner feelings and did what u wanted.

Trust me , one day wen u have money , fame, have fulfilled your responsibility , have fulfilled all your mental and physical needs, you would need emotional support, dats like 2 old people in 70’s or sumthing  walking on a beach holding hands. At that moment you can be with anyone ,be it your wife, be it your old friend, anyone  with whom you  can be youself, without any restrictions, you can talk and share what you want and looking into the eyes of each other , you know that person is surely one of the best one you have met in your life span. As the winds start blowing high.You just come a little closer and remain silent.