Tag Archives: fun

General

Why Indian students are disliked abroad?

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cesar2

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said ‘Give me Liberty , or give me Death’?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?’Patrick Henry, 1775’he said.

‘Very good! Who said ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. ‘Abraham Lincoln, 1863’ said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, ‘Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.’

She heard a loud whisper: ‘F*** the Indians,’

‘Who said that?’ she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. ‘General Custer, 1862.’

At that point, a student in the back said, ‘I’m gonna puke.’

The teacher glares around and asks ‘All right! Now, who said that?’ Again, Chandrasekhar says, ‘George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.’

Now furious, another student yells, ‘Oh yeah? Suck this!’

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, ‘Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997’

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said ‘You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.’ Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ‘ Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.’

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, ‘Oh shit, we’re screwed!’ And Chandrasekhar said quietly, ‘I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008’.

FUN n TP

You know you are at SCIT when… by Jassi

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You know you are in when…

1. Classes start at 7 in the morning, you skip bath and more importantly you skip your breakfast, rush full swing, forget to carry your notebook along and somehow manage to reach at 7:25 only to find that the class has been cancelled / postponed.
You sigh for a moment and then mutter BC.

2. Once in a blue moon you make a visit to the notice-board with the hope of finding a note saying something about holidays, what you find instead is the time-table fluffing you with the horrible timing of the classes 7-10, 12-2, 5-7.
Makes you wonder if that’s their optimum time-utilization algorithm or a conspiracy to keep students’ asses stuck to the campus.

3. You have more batch-meets than the lectures. And the same old Gyaan (read: shit) is repeated in all of them.
Peculiarly, all batch-meets set-out with a scary notion of mandatory attendance.

4. Class is going on, you peep-out from the window to see pretty ladies playing basket-ball. You feel the urge to jump out of the window but couldn’t gather the balls. You start fantasizing, and the teacher asks you to explain what he had just explicated.

5. You find no time to eat or to sleep; but there’s always enough time to watch an episode of “Prison Break” or “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” or to catch-up a movie.

6. Every pretty girl you see on the campus turns out to be either from SIIB or from SCMHRD.

7. Dinner menu at the mess may flash Chicken Masala or Chicken Tawa or Chicken Hariyali or Chicken Whatever; the taste is ditto.

8. 90% of the teachers that teach you are the alumni of SCIT itself. The rest 10% couldn’t find a job elsewhere.

9. You find more committees than the committee-members.

10. The only time pupils are seen in formals is either when there’s a GL or a company is visiting for interns / placement.
No wonder why this phenomenon is rare.

11. The one who copied the assignment gets more marks than the one who devised it.

12. SCIT conceives in the idea of “No books”. SCITians believes (have to) that “Google is God and Googling is worship”.

13. You see Romeos and Juliets cuddling around cozily in the college buses.
Their motto: Tel lagaye duniya, hum bajayenge harmuniya :X

14. The answer sheet in the exams compels you to answer a 10 marks question in barely half a page, and a 5 marks question to answer in 2 full length pages.

15. Sachin hits a century and you hear screams all around “Mighty Mighty SCIT”.

by Jaswinder
General

Interesting Facts about Tobacco Smoking Revealed

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cigarette

Do you know that Tobacco smoking kills more than 5 million people every year? The number is very surprising because it is more than  HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria combined. And if the current trends continue, Tobacco use could kill more than 8 million people per year by 2030, and up to 1 billion people in total in the 21st century. These findings, and others are contained in the WHO Report on the Global Tobacco Epidemic, 2009.

Only 5.4% of the world’s population was covered by comprehensive smoke-free laws in 2008.  That means more than 94% of people remain unprotected by comprehensive smoke-free laws shows that much more work needs to be done, WHO said.

The report also describes countries’ efforts to implement the tobacco control package called MPOWER, those are WHO Framework Convention and its guidelines includes-

  • monitor tobacco use and the policies to prevent it;
  • protect people from tobacco smoke;
  • offer people help to quit tobacco use;
  • warn about the dangers of tobacco;
  • enforce bans on tobacco advertising, promotion and sponsorship; and
  • raise taxes on tobacco.

Less than 10% of the world’s population is covered by any one of these measure, the report states.

Other key findings of the report include the following.

  • Five more countries –– Djibouti, Egypt, Islamic Republic of Iran, Malaysia and Mauritius –– met the best practices for health warnings on cigarette packages.
  • Three more countries –– Israel, Romania and the United Arab Emirates –– offered comprehensive help to quit.
  • Only one country –– Panama –– joined the small group of countries that bans all forms of tobacco advertising, promotion and sponsorship. More than 90% of people lack protection from tobacco industry marketing.
  • Six more countries –– Czech Republic, Estonia, Fiji, Finland, the Netherlands and Seychelles –– levied tobacco taxes higher than 75% of retail price.
  • Of the world’s 100 most populous cities, 22 are smoke-free.

13

General

Funny interpretations of Boss oneliners!!!

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1. When your boss says – “You have screwed up this module”

Smile – it means “the other modules were good”

2. When your boss says – “I am not going to let you go early today evening”

Smile – It means “you can come late tomorrow”

3. When your boss says – “Do the documentation”

Smile – it means “Relax dude, you’ve done enough of coding, time to give your brains a break”

4. When your boss says – “You do nothing but just surf the internet”

Smile – it means “Dude, now I know where all that knowledge comes from”

5. When your boss says – “Do you come to office to sleep?”

Smile – It means “hey buddy, why do you stress yourself? Have a good night’s sleep and come to office whenever you wish!”

6 . When your boss says – “Stop staring at that girl you moron”

Smile – it means “My wife is better than her ”

7. When your boss says – “Why does nothing work on your machine?”

Smile – it means “I am thinking I could rather give you my laptop”

8. When your boss says – “Would you stop talking on your mobile phone?”

Smile – it means “Use the office phone instead”

9. When your boss says – “Why do you keep smiling always?”

Smile – it means “I love the fact that You are spreading the good will”

10. When your boss says – “YOU ARE FIRED”

SLAP HIM IN HIS FACE AND SAY – “I RESIGN