Category Archives: Intellect

90/10 Principle : By Steven Covey

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90/10 Principle : By Steven Covey

Have you read this before?

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let us use an example:
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home,When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is “D”.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is
what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok honey,
you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you
come back down in time to look through the window and see your child
getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not
have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the
90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You
do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day.

A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall Off) Do you curse? Does
your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try to bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your
schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight
attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time
to study, get to know the other passenger. Why are stressed out? It will just make Things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!

Arvind Kejriwal :- social activist and crusader for greater transparency in Government

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I was reading a magazine in my last journey where I read about a group called PARIVARTAN ( Change) . Started by  Arvind Kejriwal , who is a IIT passout, who further joined Indian Revenue service and became an Additional Commissioner of Income Tax. He was not happy with the way everyone took bribes to keep papers moving. The conscious had hit him hard.

In the year 2000, Arvind started PARIVARTAN  which focuses on the following issues:-

  1. Empowering Indian Citizens
  2. Awareness About RTI Act (Right to information Act 2005)
  3. Awareness about systematic solution towards Corruption and Red tapism.
  4. Facilitates Indian Citizens in there dealings with government department without any bribes.

Do not be surprised if you find people of PARIVARTAN standing outside any government department with banners like “ DON’T PAY BRIBE”  and exhorting Indian citizens, not to pay bribe for getting there problems fixed. The group also helps to facilitate Indian citizens get there work done without any bribe.

  • 2004: Ashoka Fellow, Civic Engagement.
  • 2005: ‘Satyendra Dubey Memorial Award’, IIT Kanpur for his campaign for bringing transparency in Government [2].
  • 2006: Ramon Magsaysay Award for Emergent Leadership.
  • 2006: CNN-IBN, ‘Indian of the Year’ in Public Service [10]
  • 2009: Distinguished Alumnus Award, IIT Kharagpur for Emergent Leadership.
  • I found it worth to be known to all the people. So thought to share. The idea is brilliant. Those who have that passion inside them can surely join. Those who still think they are doing good work can surely still be a part of them in some way or other maybe once in there life’s. Stop giving and taking bribes. To change the society we need to change ourself first.

    To reach him or to join him in some way or another please check his website – www.parivartan.com or you can also contact via email parivartan@parivartan.com .

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arvind_Kejriwal

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    Divorce in India is directly proportional to status of women in India.

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    Since childhood I have been hearing one term “Patience”, from the people surrounding me. Most of the time this word ironically was associated or used in context of women. Does a female since birth has this Godly quality? Or is it you people who teach her this?. Ofcourse it’s the last answer. Not much far , I just have to go back to 1990’s .

    In India, females since birth are told myriad stories about how a female has to behave with a man, rather a husband. She is told being a female, the weaker sex, she has no right to display her power, her aggression, or her wildness. She merely has to live with a man for her entire life, being indifferent about her sadness or happiness. Each one of us have different lawyers of personalities. The sad part is as each lawyer is removed the face becomes more and more ugly.

    A female married to an honorable man living in a well sophisticated society. The alcoholic man, who treats people nicely outside and at home abuses his wife and kid. The female can not think of divorce as she is not working , she since childhood is imbibed this Gyan that she needs to be married once and she has to stay with the guy, she cant come back to parents. Third is the kid, the kids needs are there and Fourth, but not the least , the society, the cruel society which will not let her live on her alone. Fearing about all the above she cant take a step and lives with the same man. Each second she spends with her becomes more gross for her life. She wishes to die once rather than dying every time. With every movement of Gate or any heavy noise, she fears, gives her Goosebumps. She feels free being caged in a room alone but not with the her husband anywhere.

    This is just one example, situation is yet worse. So why do we boast about India having ideal number of marriages??. Guys wake up?, its not ideal marriages?, Its dominating one party and making her live that silence the entire life with the tag Married till died. Whom are we faking?, ourself? The world? Or the society?.

    Marriages are compromises and both the people have to live together setting aside some part of there egoo’s and avoiding abuses which may provoke them to hit each other or verbally abuse each other. Both the sexes have to respect the dignity of the sacred relationship called marriage. Both of them have to give each other atleast the basic respect if they cant give each other love and time. But if the relation gets to verbal abuses and hitting, it needs a stand from another party. Divorce in India is directly proportional to status of women in India.

    Today if we give a situation to Indian married females that, forget about society , forget about money part, and forget about your kids education , all of that will be taken care of. Do you wanna move out from marriage?. Don’t be surprised what most of them would say. In India most of the marriages are tied and live long cause of the reason of fear not because of love and bonding. Out of 100 maybe 1 case is reported to the police station.

    Is it wrong that a person , be it a male or a female wants to move out from a relation cause of verbal abuses and violence?. Does any one cares about the effect the mental torture that the person and the kids face. The humiliation and disgust can sink the victim party into more vicious circle. Moreover a female normally with all this mental torture and disgust sinks into depression or silence and when she revolts back, she might hit herself hard or she might do something which would make her hate herself more or might just leave herself to sink into the emptiness of relations. Violence , abuses, hitting, all this puts a stamp on those who cant respect women.

    Most of the people in this world are like this. Male being feeling proud on dominating. Why do they forget they are born out of a women and if they cant respect a women. They would never be able to have a happy life. Whatever we do, comes back to us in some or the other way.

    No marriage is perfect, there is nothing like perfect pair or perfect couple. It is a union of confluence of ideas and visions of two people. It’s just about how much efforts both the parties are doing to make it successful. Respect each other’s individuality and things can surely work.

    Abuses and hits will only lead both of you to a black start end. Everyone has a right for individual freedom. You are the master of your life. Chose wisely. We cant chose our parents,but we can chose our friends and life partner and your boy friends. Remember love with never come up with hitting and abuses. Love comes with respecting each other.

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    Basic difference between a Mother and a Mother in law

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    A family where lives a husband, a wife , a kid and a mother in law. The housewife daughter in law from her homely work got tired and had a  thought to eat food outside with her husband. She had already prepared food for night. The husband came back in evening. The Wife put forward her desire to go out for eating outside as they had not taken food in restaurant from past three months. The son said to his mom, “Mom, Reva feels like eating outside today, I think I shall take her out.” Mother said, “ The food is already prepared, don’t waste it and it’s already late. Tell her she can go out some other time. And how can you fulfill all her wishes without giving  it a thought.”

    Life moved on. Next month the  mother was very happy  as her daughter was coming with her husband. She came and was greeted with warm welcome.  At night, around 11, everyone was chatting in one room and eating Gulabjamun. Suddenly  the daughter had a feeling to eat iceream, which she expressed to her husband. The husband without any thoughts asked for cars key and went out to purchase it. Mother in law exclaimed with happiness, “  Wow, what a son in law. He takes care of my daughter soo much, fulfilling all her wishes and desires. He is no doubts a wonderful husband.”

    Alas, we can see the difference soo clearly!.

    Importance of Focus in life

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    One young boy aged 20 once met a very rich man. He was impressed with him and realized that he shall also earn money, like him. He started working and earning. While he was doing this, he met an intellectual man. He got impressed with him and left his work and started studying. He studied little and then again met a classical singer. He got impressed with his singing and left studying and started to learn Music.

    Life moved on and the young boy turned into a man but neither he had money, nor he had intellect nor music.  One day he told his problems to a Spiritual Guru. The Guru after hearing his agony said, “ The whole world is full of lot of attractions. Make up your mind and go forward to achieve that without doubting your selection. You will surely become successful. If you keep on digging at lot of places then neither will you be able to search water nor you will be able to digg a well.”

    The man, understood the indication and moved further in his life with one mind and achieve success.

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    An old man used to earn his living in the village by teaching kids to climb trees . One day a young boy came to his classes to learn this art.

    The old man said to the boy , “ Child, you need to be cautious when you climb the tree”.  The boy remarked, “ Don’t worry this is simple, everyone can do this”. He said this and started to climb the tree. The old man looked with his tranquil eyes. The boy reached the top of the tree and then stared to come down.

    When the boy was one third distance away from the ground, the old man shouted , “ Just be careful son, don’t be in a hurry”. The boy jumped to the floor and came to the old man and said , “ you never said a word when I was climbing up but you were telling me to be cautious , why so?”.  

    The old man said, “You started climbing with excitement, so you would be very cautious at that time yourself. But when people are more nearer to there destination, that is when you starting to come down, they start thinking that the destination is near and simple and lose focus, that is why I reminded you”.

    When the Mahatma Cried

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    Once when Mahatma Gandhi Aka Bapu was 8 years old, he reached late to his school. It was rainy season and the dark clouds covered the whole sky. Gandhiji reached late and his teacher asked, “Why are you late?”.  Gandhij innocently said, “ Due to the dim light of the sky, I was not able to judge the time, therefore got late”. The teacher said, “  I dont think this is a valid reason, please give 1 Ana (money used earlier in INDIA) for coming late.

    Gandhaji started to cry. His friends asked him why is he crying, as his father is rich and can give that punishment amount. Gandhiji said, “ I am not crying because of the money to be paid, I am crying because the teacher thought I told him a lie”.

    A fight between Mind, body & emotions.

     One day Body, mind and emotions had a debate on who’s more important for a Human as an individual.

    Body said, “ I am the identity of human, if I am not there , there would be no mind and no emotion”.

    Mind said, “ I am the basis of human, if I am not there, there would be no difference between an animal and a human”.

    Emotions said, “ In a humans life , success and beauty comes with emotions, if I am not there everything becomes lifeless.” God was hearing this conversation and smiled and interrupted and said, “ Humans life is precious and important with three of you. I gave him a beautiful body, intellectual mind and flawless emotions. If you three are utilized properly by an individual, the life itself becomes a blessing.”

    FAT INDIAN WEDDINGS Vs. INDIAN POVERTY

    Living in the 21st Century certainly gives us privilege  to lots of things , hail thee to Internet, Hail to globalization and liberalization. There was a time when a person had a bike or a scooter was sumthing to be proud about. Today bike, car,A/c, Fridge,Tv, Ipod, laptop comes in a necessity, rather than a luxary. Today many of us have the above mentioned things at our owned home or at our rented home, Still we are eager and hungy for more to come, when we are getting married.

    Since childhood we are feeded that getting married is sumthing we are  destined for . We cant skip it and if we skip it , surely we are abnormal one. People will keep on talking about you and your family , if you skip it …  Oh man , u are the biggest sinner.  Crucified till last breath!!!. One marries and for instance has a bad marriged life the for society it does not matter, but if one is unmarried and yet has a happy life, it’s not acceptable.

    Today one individual’s marriage is more importance for others rather than for the person himself/herself. Society creates its rules itself and then implements it on people. Most of us follow it coz of  the fear of being ostracized as we forget that society is made by us. It’s not just about getting married. We spend soo lavishly on weddings and boast about it. Our so called friends and relatives attend the weddings and blatantly gossiping about the arrangements  and the treatment given.

    A minimum wedding expenditure starting from 10 lakhs to No limits. Giving soo much in dowry ( of course some of the shameless one’s demand it, rest get it as a gesture of token ), whatever it might be. It is dowry, which is still in most of the forms in legalized in an illegal manner.

    Why not rather we take up a step and go forward with court marriages or a small ceremony at temple wherein you take 7 vows with your life partner and then jointly by sharing the expenses throw an amazing  reception. Or why not give children Fd’s or make investments on there name as a gift, rather than throwing tons of money for fake appreciations.

    Every Indian , saves someway or the other for the child’s marriage. Per capital Incomes going high for the middle class and the upper middle class. But the lower class?, nothing much done for there improvement. Education is the only thing that can make them earn there living respectably in the hypocrate society.

    Research reveals that around  800 Ton Gold is bought in a year  in India.( To remember that research made when Gold costing 14,000 and more). In this 800 ton, 600 ton is utilized to make gold jewellary

    . In our country 70 Crore people live each day , merely with 30 Rs. Income per day. 40 crore still living below poverty line. 60 Crore do not get safe drinking water.  35 Crore not getting basic education. 62 crore don’t have houses to sleep. 20 Crore among those sleep on footpaths daily.

    On the contrary,30 crore people in India have income more than 2 crore per year. 15 crore people are earning more than 1 crore per year. 15 crore people buy packed water bottle  worth 50 crore.

    How ironical indeed. At one place we can see buildings touching the zenith and on the other side poverty, vicious circle, low per capita Income. People begging at each traffic signal and at the other end we see marriage parties being arranged , flamboyant , scintillating parties.

    Its’ absolutely one’s choice , think and make up your mind. Wasting your parents hard earned money on ur wedding . Maybe they could use this money in there more older days. Why we not think to change this mindset. Marriages are more about union of two souls and 2 families, then why we need soo much pomp and show?. Just for the sake coz our neighbor or our other family members have done it. We need to change. I would personally like to change this , and change comes with one step taken . Each one of us , need to take up a step to so sumthing in this regard. Slowely and steadly things will change in Society. Maybe my childen would vistness it , if I don’t.

    Living in the 21st Century certainly gives us privilege  to lots of things , hail thee to Internet, Hail to globalization and liberalization. There was a time when a person had a bike or a scooter was sumthing to be proud about. Today bike, car,A/c, Fridge,Tv, Ipod, laptop comes in a necessity, rather than a luxary. Today many of us have the above mentioned things at our owned home or at our rented home.

    Getting married is sumthing we are told , we are destined for . We cant skip it and if we skip it , surely we are abnormal one. Today one individual’s marriage is more importance for others rather than for the person himself/herself. Society creates its rules itself and then implements it on people. Most of us follow it coz of  the fear of being ostracized as we forget that society is made by us. It’s not just about getting married. We spend soo lavishly on weddings and boast about it. Our so called friends and relatives attend the weddings and blatantly gossiping about the arrangements  and the treatment given.

    A minimum wedding expenditure starting from 10 lakhs to No limits. Giving soo much in dowry ( of course some of the shameless one’s demand it, rest get it as a gesture of token ), whatever it might be. It is dowry, which is still in most of the forms in legalized in an illegal manner.

    Why not rather we take up a step and go forward with court marriages or a small ceremony at temple wherein you take 7 vows with your life partner and then jointly by sharing the expenses throw an amazing  reception. Or why not give children Fd’s or make investments on there name as a gift, rather than throwing tons of money for fake appreciations.

    Every Indian , saves someway or the other for the child’s marriage. Per capital Incomes going high for the middle class and the upper middle class. But the lower class?, nothing much done for there improvement. Education is the only thing that can make them earn there living respectably in the hypocrate society.

    Research reveals that around  800 Ton Gold is bought in a year  in India.( To remember that research made when Gold costing 16,000 and more). In this 800 ton, 600 ton is utilized to make gold jewellary

    . In our country 70 Crore people live each day , merely with 30 Rs. Income per day. 40 core still living below poverty line. 60 Crore do not get safe drinking water.  35 Crore not getting basic education. 62 crore don’t have houses to sleep. 20 Crore among those sleep on footpaths daily.

    On the contrary,30 crore people in India have income more than 2 crore per year. 15 crore people are earning more than 1 crore per year. 15 crore people buy packed water bottle  worth 50 crore.

    How ironical indeed. At one place we can see buildings touching the zenith and on the other side poverty, vicious circle, low per capita Income. People begging at each traffic signal and at the other end we see marriage parties being arranged , flamboyant , scintillating parties.

    Its’ absolutely one’s choice , think and make up your mind. Wasting your parents hard earned money on ur wedding . Maybe they could use this money in there more older days. Why we not think to change this mindset. Marriages are more about union of two souls and 2 families, then why we need soo much pomp and show?. Just for the sake coz our neighbor or our other family members have done it. We need to change. I would personally like to change this , and change comes with one step taken . Each one of us , need to take up a step to so sumthing in this regard. Slowely and steadly things will change in Society. Maybe my childen would vistness it , if I don’t.!

    Tribute to my Nani Ma

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    The bond that a person develops with his mother can never be severed. You grew as a tiny soul inside her for nine months. She carried you and sustained you, sharing her sustenance with you through your umbrilical cord. When you are born the cord is severed. It is never severed in her heart. That bond lasts forever.
    As we grow up we become our own people and may come to forget that woman who nurtured and loved us. Now that she is no more with us , we will always remember her for her teachings , her smile, her small small ways to take care of everyone, her good wishes and everything.
    We will look for her in people we meet, we will look for her voice and for her words and many times will look beyond human understanding and belives.
    She was an angel for most of us, gave us values and self awareness. She has guided us through life with her wisdom, her God’s light.She steers us from wrong and leads us toward right way . She laughed with us in happy times and comforted our tears in bad one’s.
    She does not need not a halo, or any silken wings honestly , even when her body was taken away , to be burned, I could see , the glory of God’s blessing on her , her face scintillating in a mesmerizing manner. Blissful and pulverizing experience.
    My angel, can be replaced by anyone else.
    She will always live in our hearts and our minds. We will always embrace her in our thoughts. We will never forget you and never stop loving you. All of us will Miss u ! Always…

    May her soul rest in peace.

    Right Balance of Life

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    At times I feel so confused.. thinking what do I want in life?, or rather what do I want from life?. Is it physical or mental satisfaction merely or something beyond this?.

     Sipping my cup of tea, my brain gets millions of thoughts. We are born , we grow up , marry have children and we grow old then we die. This is a normal process of life, rather a stark truth of life. But what is life, I m perplexed with the question most of the time, one of the most quizzical term since my childhood. Being a child I had always read books and searched things about life. But now at a age when I have experienced 25 years on this beautiful mother earth, I can atleast try to get a better view of life, better understanding and maybe better jotting of it in words. Life is just a 4 letter word, but comprises the whole universe in it.

    We are born and we start running after soo many things ,be it anything. The craving for each materialistic thing increases. One need is satisfied and the other pops up. Why do we run after all this if we have to die?.I often question myself about it? If at the end , I want eternal peace why do I feel I need to work and I need to do something good for my family?. At times I feel I shall leave everthything and get into spirituality , but then the next thought says what about my responsibilities??, then the next pop up in brain is?, M I really responsible for sumthing?.

    Everything will be managed , me there or me there not. Life still moves on?. So does my existence really matters?. Then I think , I am educated now , so would work for some 20 years and then devote myself to sumthing which is beyond all this. Maybe this is balance in life. As a child grows old, he is prepared to go to school, same way when we start getting old, we have to prepare ourself to go to Him. Then a thought cropped up in my mind, what if from our body the soul goes away?. Then the body becomes dead, as per science. Right now I can type whatever I want, as per my will, but if from my body this soul goes away, I cant even blink an eye. Amazing , if you actually think about it. Without soul the body is a dead body. Soul, again a 4 letter word,but what is it?, that makes all the body part active?. All the things function in our body? And without it , we are nothing. Soul which I have heard from people is a part of Him and if we are lucky, it gets into him. Imagine we are born and then we die , but the soul remains the same.

     No one can harm it touch it, or hurt it, it does nt bleed. It’s like soul changes bodies, be it in any shape and in any form. Soul, the biggest human miracle is right inside us and we keep searching for things that can tell us God exist or does not?. How ironical human is! Alas.. I some how feel connected to him. I like that feeling very much. I enjoy it and I enjoy making people happy around me.

    I like freedom and have now understood that do what your heart says and don’t go with what people say. At the end if u do something wrong , u atleast know ur mistake are yours and u haad not been a pawn in a game played by people around you. Life your life the way you want. Have courage to say No. Have courage to do what makes you feel happy, as at the end it’s about the soul, which dances when we do something which connects us to Him. Writing for eg. Is something I cherish and feels like writing more and more… anything and everything, but have realized with time that most of my writings makes me feel more closer to Him. As I might start with anything ends with spiritual discussion. So now m trying to make a balance in my life.

    Not run after things.Do what I Like. Atleast start doing what I like. Gives me immense pleasure. But when I get back to the same people who talk about only materialistic things, I again tend to think, am I lagging behind?, is money everything?.

    Then I feel No. Maybe the people who run after all this, all this means, success, fame , money, etc etc. they might feel satisfied that yes that they got all this, but at the end, they realize, how much fake all of this is. We life 2 lives internal and external. Both crave and both wanna be fed with different things. How to stike a right balance is a process called Life. Life is a process. There are 4 things that gives us pain In life Jealousy ,desires, death & addiction. If a man is not Aaffected by bad , affected by good , M sure he rules his senses. This kind of person surely has internal inclination towards the Most powerful Soul, Him.

    Soo much to explore, maybe next time .. can keep on writing and writing on this… All things apart, you might gain anything from life, emotional stability and intellectual openness will only lead you to the right balance of Life.