At times I feel so confused.. thinking what do I want in life?, or rather what do I want from life?. Is it physical or mental satisfaction merely or something beyond this?.
Sipping my cup of tea, my brain gets millions of thoughts. We are born , we grow up , marry have children and we grow old then we die. This is a normal process of life, rather a stark truth of life. But what is life, I m perplexed with the question most of the time, one of the most quizzical term since my childhood. Being a child I had always read books and searched things about life. But now at a age when I have experienced 25 years on this beautiful mother earth, I can atleast try to get a better view of life, better understanding and maybe better jotting of it in words. Life is just a 4 letter word, but comprises the whole universe in it.
We are born and we start running after soo many things ,be it anything. The craving for each materialistic thing increases. One need is satisfied and the other pops up. Why do we run after all this if we have to die?.I often question myself about it? If at the end , I want eternal peace why do I feel I need to work and I need to do something good for my family?. At times I feel I shall leave everthything and get into spirituality , but then the next thought says what about my responsibilities??, then the next pop up in brain is?, M I really responsible for sumthing?.
Everything will be managed , me there or me there not. Life still moves on?. So does my existence really matters?. Then I think , I am educated now , so would work for some 20 years and then devote myself to sumthing which is beyond all this. Maybe this is balance in life. As a child grows old, he is prepared to go to school, same way when we start getting old, we have to prepare ourself to go to Him. Then a thought cropped up in my mind, what if from our body the soul goes away?. Then the body becomes dead, as per science. Right now I can type whatever I want, as per my will, but if from my body this soul goes away, I cant even blink an eye. Amazing , if you actually think about it. Without soul the body is a dead body. Soul, again a 4 letter word,but what is it?, that makes all the body part active?. All the things function in our body? And without it , we are nothing. Soul which I have heard from people is a part of Him and if we are lucky, it gets into him. Imagine we are born and then we die , but the soul remains the same.
No one can harm it touch it, or hurt it, it does nt bleed. It’s like soul changes bodies, be it in any shape and in any form. Soul, the biggest human miracle is right inside us and we keep searching for things that can tell us God exist or does not?. How ironical human is! Alas.. I some how feel connected to him. I like that feeling very much. I enjoy it and I enjoy making people happy around me.
I like freedom and have now understood that do what your heart says and don’t go with what people say. At the end if u do something wrong , u atleast know ur mistake are yours and u haad not been a pawn in a game played by people around you. Life your life the way you want. Have courage to say No. Have courage to do what makes you feel happy, as at the end it’s about the soul, which dances when we do something which connects us to Him. Writing for eg. Is something I cherish and feels like writing more and more… anything and everything, but have realized with time that most of my writings makes me feel more closer to Him. As I might start with anything ends with spiritual discussion. So now m trying to make a balance in my life.
Not run after things.Do what I Like. Atleast start doing what I like. Gives me immense pleasure. But when I get back to the same people who talk about only materialistic things, I again tend to think, am I lagging behind?, is money everything?.
Then I feel No. Maybe the people who run after all this, all this means, success, fame , money, etc etc. they might feel satisfied that yes that they got all this, but at the end, they realize, how much fake all of this is. We life 2 lives internal and external. Both crave and both wanna be fed with different things. How to stike a right balance is a process called Life. Life is a process. There are 4 things that gives us pain In life Jealousy ,desires, death & addiction. If a man is not Aaffected by bad , affected by good , M sure he rules his senses. This kind of person surely has internal inclination towards the Most powerful Soul, Him.
Soo much to explore, maybe next time .. can keep on writing and writing on this… All things apart, you might gain anything from life, emotional stability and intellectual openness will only lead you to the right balance of Life.